"No good at showing it, but I'm trying"


Song: "In My Language" - Jade Boiser





My relationship-at-the-time was going really really well. He was wonderful, so supportive, unbelievably caring. Everything felt oddly right, and good. It was very unsettling. I'm a pretty self-sufficient person, relationships aren't easy for me. Cards-on-the-table vulnerability terrifies me. I have a prickly perimeter around my feelings, and heart area too, I guess. I don't say as much as I want to. I'm fiercely loyal to my to-do lists and schedules (it's problematic). I could've definitely made more time for him. I'm pretty hard-headed. It's really hard to change my mind when I'm set on something, so compromise is tough. On the outside, the narrative could easily be that I don't care. I was worried he didn't know how much I liked him, this song came out of that.